its been a long, long time since i blogged here.
once again i thought about deleting it but thought 'no~its a good place to come and have a moan'
a lot has happened since i last posted here
my diabetes medication has increased and i now have to inject insulin once daily, testing my blood twice daily and i am now under a diabetes clinic who are keeping a close eye on me.
my fibromyalgia/M.E is ever present and not improving in any way. i am in fact having a bad flare up at the moment. so most of my time i am on the sofa (falling asleep on and off) or in bed. i keep a large...very large bucket bag stashed with my journal, pens, kindle, tarot cards and book (the wild unknown tarot~have you seen it? its beautiful!) lip balm, cough sweets, a hand crafted corduroy mouse my sister had made...this bag gets moved from place to place with me like a very strange survival kit.
in my last post i mentioned the 'wear and tear'~well although i have not seen my doctor recently and will avoid doing so for as long as possible i have self diagnosed myself with osteoarthritis (OA)~not hard to do if you can see my fingers! over the last 8 months or so i have had the classic lumps develop on some of my fingers and have all the pain in the usual places that have movement.
the combined pain of this and my fibro means that anything involving my hands/arms are becoming more difficult for me and i have even bought a kindle~something i avoided for ages~but holding big books (all my books are lovely big books!) as holding books are now so painful as is any small tasks.
my feet are affected and when the pain hits it is along the joints of my toes so walking is difficult.
i admit that writing this is making me feel a little sorry for myself~only a smidge~but i think we can all allow ourselves this feeling now and then. generally i just carry on regardless and live with it.
i am lucky in that i do not work~my combined maladies mean that i never know what the day will bring, i wake up exhausted and in pain, sometimes with blazing migraine.
not knowing how i will be hour to hour makes life difficult to plan and some days~like today~i had to say no to a trip into Lymington. i didn't have the energy to even get out of my pyjamas and too much pain to do anything.
i guage my pain on what pain medication take~today is a three gabapentin and a diclofenac type of day. i rarely take more than two gabapentin as it makes me dizzy but today is a three day.
i also spent the morning with a heated neck pillow around my neck~to be honest i am not sure if this is a fibro pain or the OA although when i move my neck it crackles like plastic wrapping which i think must be crepitus.
on that note i shall leave you now~my fingers are hurting and i need my neck pilow re-heated!